Being Calvin Harris is a pretty good gig. The DJ/producer/object of the female gaze gets to spend his days oiling his abs, petting Taylor Swift?s cat, and pressing play on an iTunes playlist, aka DJing. As long as human beings love to half-dance to incomprehensible aphorisms layered over a handful of beats, Harris has got it made. In order to continue on this blessed path, all Harris had to do was keep up with his core workout and keep his pretty mouth shut. Naturally, that didn't happen. The trouble started on Monday, when the DJ-turned-white knight rode in on 140 characters, hell-bent on defending his girlfriend from the scourge of a Zayn Malik retweet that echoed a Twitter user?s critique of Taylor Swift?s famous Spotify feud. Harris proceeded to go off with the ignorant confidence of a white boy who is essentially surrounded by the three walls of a DJ booth at all times. Malik quickly shut Harris down by implying that he was old and quite possibly addled. He also called him a ?dickhead.?
